Thank you 2010...Welcome 2011!

2010 is my metamorphosis year. My epiphany in turn gave birth to ABCs of me, AyAlogy 101, my still work-in-progress project AngBituin.Com and several other "firsts" and new ventures.

2010 was a testament to the power of visioning and how God's hand turn things around and back. I did not anticipate the problems but in my vision board I envisioned a physically fit, emotionally strong, spiritually grounded happy woman. In hindsight, maybe I was totally crushed so I can start anew.

It was the year when I went from bed-ridden to activity-laden...from being traumatically married to peacefully single...my career went from bad to best.

Now, I am spending like a minimum-wage earner but earning an executive's salary with some passive income on the side. I've never been this stress-free and happy albeit the zero love life. I will always be thankful to this chaotic yet life-changing year.

Amidst the hospital bills, debt payments and make-over costs...the lessons of 2010 is simply priceless.

In 2011, I look forward to:

- A closer relationship with God. I recognize that anything and everything would not be possible without Him. I learned that no matter how networked a person is, there is only one reliable helpline called prayer. I bought a 2011 Bible Diary and intend to journal my conversations with Him. This is similar to the reflections I wrote in "ABCs of Aya" which became too personal to share to the public thus I held back from posting.

- A deeper knowledge of my soul and purpose. I'm always in limbo and I hate confusion. When one is sure of one's self and calling, decisions come easy. When decisions are set you just fire then aim. I now have an idea holder or what most people refer to as their "journal" so I can capture my AyAlogy moments. Writing became my self-portrait...I will continue to sketch that self-portrait until God's project called "me" becomes a masterpiece.

- A wider network so I can help the least, the lost and the last. In 2011, I am very much looking forward to see AngBituin.Com come to life. I have always wanted to chronicle memories and the best way for me to do that is by creating a portal of memorial websites. In it I will write about the unexplored...what most people avoid but what most of us know as inevitable -- death.

- A richer pool of resources by wisely using the time, talent and treasure heaven loaned to me. I haven't bought a planner yet as I still believe that the universe will give me one *wink* *wink* ;)

I am thankful that LittleRunningTeacher.com, WhenInManila.com, VinceGolangco.com and Belle De Jour are giving away several planners for men and women! Find out how you can win here – “http://wp.me/p11LPf-Hx“\

Next on the list: a reliable phone and an iPad. =) While gadgets help my resolve... I know that time management tools come second to will power.

- Become a fitting vessel of the real me. I'd like to be healthier, stronger and in the process improve my metabolic age! As the song goes...there is nobody nobody but me. I can't give what I don't have. That's my primary justification why I'd like to have more. I wish to be more so I can give more.

My plans did not materialize in 2010 but what happened was beyond my imagination. God led me to see how beautiful life is especially if I surrender it all to Him. After all, it is futile to resist what is meant to happen. Thus, in 2011 I won't plan. I will stay in-sync and go with the flow.

After all that has happened, my experience taught me that new year is simply a glorified new day. Everyday people have the chance to become fresh and new. But then again..oh well...I am so thankful that my head is out of the pupa even before the year ends. With that I welcome 2011, knowing that the perfect moment to finally flutter free is very much within reach.

May we all have a blessed and bright year ahead!

Reminiscing Grace to be Born this Christmas

I had the privilege of spending a meaningful birthday celebration at the Grace to be Born shelter in Pasig City last September.



Grace to be Born serves both as a halfway house for unwed mothers and as an orphanage for abandoned babies. If I remember it right, they had 12 mothers and 15 babies.



I initially wanted a pompous birthday celebration after surviving such a tough year. I imagined having a grand launch of AyA version 3.0 -- stronger, wiser and happier. I wanted to fix my hair, get toned and simply be glamorous enough to party.

While it was thrilling to imagine a more fabulous me...I could not silence my calling to be socially sensitive. Around mid-September, a baby boy placed in an airplane trash bag was abandoned in a plane. That news certainly hit a spot. Why would I throw a party and splurge on a drinking spree when there are people who starve in love and thirst for affection?



Thanks to social media and the power of text brigade, I was able to call on a few friends who selflessly donated their time, talent and treasure. We were able to donate some vital signs equipment (BP apparatus, digital thermometer, weiging scale, stethoscope, etc.), medical supplies, toiletries for moms, baby clother with mittens and booties, feeding bottles and trinkets of baby items. I was so delightedly surprised we were able to pool together more than 400 diapers and 15cans + 8 boxes of formula milk in less than 2weeks!



The short lead time did not deter us from having some sort of order. We had a semblance of a programme...complete with powerpoint, music and role assignments. It was a short and crisp but complete programme where humor and heart is balanced.


While waiting for people to arrive and to give us time to fix the "venue", we asked moms to write what they want for Christmas and color the image of Mary holding her son Jesus.


These are some of the "masterpiece" of our moms-to-be. We'll be seeing them soon to hand in their Christmas wish.


Our meal was very simple yet filling. It was a pot-luck of the ever-present pansit, pork barbeque from the neighborhood ihawan and cake rolls from Majo...plus peanuts from Jun.



We prayed...


We played...


and gave away prizes!


And of course for posterity...here's with my college friends: Lai and Vive (who came all the way from Las Pinas and Cavite respectively).


Here's with my former teammates: ChaCha, Jackie and Apple (who gamely prepared Pinoy Henyo moms/baby version--thanks gurls!)


Over-all, I felt and still feel so blessed to have a supportive family and a bunch of positive and beautiful friends who took part in this cause despite the short notice.

Please allow me to thank: Dunn (who commuted from Paranaque to host the program), Jun (who brought my teammates to the venue and for finding time despite his hectic schedule), Kuya Pj (who came from Bicol for agreeing to co-host with Dunn), Majo and her sister (for the milk and cake and effort--your presence is truly valued), Mareng Kate (who captured the moment as our official photographer despite being 7months pregnant herself at that time and for enjoining Lily and Allen to support), Ca, Lai and Vive (for being there in almost every chapter of my life since college), Cha, Jackie and Apple (for all your donations and for being happy angels on earth)and of course my family (for being my source of strength and moolah hahaha need I say more?). I am so thankful that we shared the Grace to be Born experience. It would not have been possible without all of you.



The Lord said, whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do unto me. As I reminisce that day fresh after the child Jesus' birth, my heart is filled with gratitude and hope. I am grateful for that moment and hopeful for more similar moments to come. As we are given the grace to be born, may our existence be a blessing to others. I wish you all a more meaningful year ahead!

P.S. The Grace to be Born shelter is located at #53 Dr. Sixto Antonio Avenue, Kapasigan, Pasig City. For details, questions or donations, you may call Rey Ortega at 09275010605 or 09228597035, or Myrna Ortega at 09178039139.

Disclaimer: Because the shelter values the privacy and in recognition of the sensitive nature surrounding abandonment and abortion, we were prohibited from taking and posting pictures of the moms and babies housed in Grace to be Born.

Writing my way to get a free BDJ Planner

I just joined an online contest hoping to win a Belle de Jour Planner.

The task was to tell the Editor what my New Year’s resolution is and how I plan to achieve it.

Here's sharing my short and sweet entry:

In 2011, I resolve to make less goals and envision more dreams rooted to God's purpose.

2010 taught me not to rely on my strength alone but heed to God’s will. I wanted to lose 15lbs to be sexier but God didn’t do that. Instead, he took all the dead weight in my life which made me feel lighter and more beautiful even with 15lbs intact.

To bring to life my New Year’s resolution, I will start and end my day in prayer. I will talk less and listen more. God’s message most often than not come in a subtle faint whisper. Thus, I will make time for a “quiet time” everyday. When one is in God’s path, I believe everything else will fall into place effortlessly and in style.

Aanhin pa ang rebond kung meron ka namang kuto? In English: What is beauty when the brain is...haggard?

72hours before Christmas...

It's 3 days before Christmas. Same time last year, I was one of those who frequent the malls. I took advantage of the sign "SALE" and optimize the extended mall hours. I was in a shopping frenzy! All around me was everything "Christmassy" or so I thought. I strut with "Jingle Bells" playing in my head as I run through my shopping list whilst I carry all those bags with gusto.

Now I realize its not the number of people you were able to give gifts or the cost of the gift that matter. Its about spending time despite being penniless to people who matter and those who made me feel I mattered. I know that they know I love them and I know for sure that they love me too.

Though it might seem I don't have any option but to think that way because of my current financial feat I believe that's a healthy mindset to have. Besides, when all else seem falling, its an option to keep your head up, your back straight and your feet grounded...that's my anti-nega-gravity formula.

I still want to shop but I can't shop the way I used to. The circumstances of my life and my eruditions of it changed me...it changed how I viewed Christmas shopping.

It's 3 days before Christmas... I have all the time and space in the world to reflect on things how grateful I am for all that was and has been...and to pray for a better year not just for me but for all who are dear and desolate. This Christmas, I've learned how to appreciate "Silent Night".

Sometimes, people self-destruct to self-preserve.

One man's white elephant can be another person's purple cow.

Sometimes the best way to be okay is to admit that you're not.

Pleasant Paradox

Dear Lord,

Thank you very much for making this a roller coaster year. I am grateful that 2010 is so different from all the other years. Thank you for not giving my goals but for answering my prayers.

I did not lose 15lbs which could have made me sexier. Instead, You took all of my dead weight which I think made me beautiful within. Thank you Lord for knowing and doing what's best for me.

I was not able to save Php300k which could have helped me feel secure and confident. Instead, I had to pay and still am paying for conjugal debts incurred because of love but got out of hand because of foolishness. Thank you Lord for the humbling experience. I am at peace knowing that I am totally dependent on your goodness.

I wanted to have a happy family. I planned to conceive on our second wedding anniversary. Yet, what I had was a broken marriage. Thank you for saving me from a closet sociopath. I did not gave birth to a child but have personally experienced Jesus' birth into my life.

For all this and a whole lot more left unsaid, thank you!

Ang madalang humirit, may banat na malupit.

Maybe good girls can learn something from girl-wannabes.

When you can no longer smile it off...its about time to surrender. When the load is off of your shoulders...smile again and make the world a happier place.

There is no cookbook for a perfect relationship. In Tagalog: hindi niluluto ang pag-ibig.

Jeep Talk

Nagkaron ng time na hindi ko alam magkano ang pasahe sa jeep. Hindi dahil umiiwas ako mag-jeep pero dahil sa hindi nagkaron ng pangangailangang mag-jeep ako. Kasabay yon ng panahon na ang exercise ko ay ang paglalakad para mag-lunch out at tsaka para maarawan na rin.

I just wanted to share some amusing exchanges na narinig ko habang sakay ng jeep.

(1) Mamang tsuper habang wagayway ang singkwenta: Ilan to? Pasahero: Isa po.

(2) Pasahero nag-abot ng bente.Pasahero: Isang tulay ho.

(3) Barker: Galaw galaw para makaalis na. [Ang sikip na nga pano pa kaya gagalaw?]

(4) Barker: Lalakad na. [Tumatakbo dapat di ba o kaya andar?]

(5) Pasahero may dalang bata: Bayad ho kasama bata. [Huh? Bata pambayad? Ung bata napakunot din akala iwan sya.]

(6) Byaheng Taft. Estudyante: Bayad ma. Normal lang. Mamang driver: ID mo? [ID patunay na normal?]

(7) Barker: Kaliwa-kanan kabilaan pa kasyang-kasya sampuan gamit araw-araw.

I honestly don't know how to translate these in English...contextualizing it so foreigners can understand extra difficult.

As I sit there patiently waiting para mapuno ang jeep para umandar na...patago akong napangiti dahil mahirap nang mapagkamalang hindi normal. =) Naalala ko pa ung isang kolehiyala na may kausap sa phone mula pagsakay hanggang sa malapit na syang bumaba. Nung magbabayad na ang kolehiyala ang sinabi nya sa driver, "hello!". Hindi sya sa normal bumaba...sa SM.

Hitik ang kultura sa jeep talk. Try mo mag-observe. Add ka pa ng iba or try to translate.

Most people write better after reading...maybe its best to talk after listening.

Hindi porket may SLR photographer na...hindi porket may laptop professional...wag nang mag-props kung di kayang i-prove.

Why wait for New Year when every day is a chance to re-fresh, re-boot and start anew. =)

It doesn't make sense to make sense out of the senseless. I've learned not to pour my heart out to someone who is heartless. Prayer precedes passion...

Kutex at Kasalanan

Hindi na ako mag-papalagay at maglalagay ng nail polish uli! Cleaning na lang ang ipagagawa ko pero hindi na ako magkukutex. Bukod kasi sa nagtitipid ako ngayon, naisip kong sayang lang ang pagpapakulay ko ng kuko lalo't nababakbak din naman tsaka ikinadidilaw pa ng kuko ko pagkatapos.

Gustong gusto ko ng makulay. Gustong-gusto ko ng cutex. Nasa emergency bag ko pa nga ang maliit na bote ng cutex para may libangan ako pamatay ng oras.

Bago mag-college nag-aral pa nga ako ng Cosmetology para matuto akong mag-manicure ng tama at kumita na rin. Inisip kong masayang fallback ang pag-aayos ng kuko kung sakaling hindi ako makatapos. Besides, ang saya ng pakiramdam na naglilinis ka ng kuko may kasama pang chika. Parang ang gaan-gaan ng buhay at maganda pa ang kita (at least 100 pesos kada oras plus may tip pa depende sa sarap ng kwentuhan).

Hindi lang tao ang nilalang na may kuko. Ang mga ibon, reptiles (except sa ahas) at iba pang mammals (except ang dolphin) may kuko rin. Hindi ko sure kung may kuko ang mga insekto...malamang wala. Punto ko lang...sa lahat ng mga nilalang na ito, tao lang siguro ang nagkukulay ng kuko.

Hindi ko alam ang evolution at history ng nail polish. Ang alam ko lang panahon pa ni Cleopatra may nail polish na. Ginamit kasi nila ang nail color para i-classify ang status ng mga babae. Maputla kapag mas mababang uri at mapula pag royalty. Maybe it is ingrained in the collective subconscious of women kaya drawn tayo na magpakulay ng kuko.

So...bakit nga ba hindi na ako magpapanail polish? Simple lang - hindi kasi natural tsaka mahirap i-maintain.

Na-realize ko ito nung minsang kinalikot at binakbak ko na naman ang manicure ko habang naghihintay ng misa sa Greenbelt. Puti ang pews sa Greenbelt chapel kaya naman kitang kita ang pinagtanggalan ko ng "cutex". Nakakahiya. Siguro ang kasalanan ay parang nail polish.

Let me tell you why...
1. Masarap ilagay ang nail polish...makulay kasi at makintab. Di ba't minsan masarap rin kulayan ang buhay ng "adventure" na kahit na bawal ay ginagawa pa rin para may pampasaya ng buhay? Minsan din ay nasisilaw tayo sa kintab ng kasalanan. Para kasing ang boring ng buhay kung mabait ka lang through-out. Ewan bakit gusto ng tao ng peace of mind pero nabobore kapag steady lang ang buhay...bakit nga ba?

2. Kung ano ang in, masarap gawin kahit na mahal. Kahit mahal ang uso gaya ng nail-art...go nail art pa rin. Sa dami pa lang ng mga nail salon at mga nail care products, alam nating may pera sa business na ito. Sa pagkakaalam ko malaki rin ang pera sa motel at pornography. Malamang malaki ang pera sa mga panandaliang sarap ng buhay.

3. Ano mang masayang epekto ng kasalanan, wala itong patutunguhan kundi ang pagbabakbak o pagseself-destruct dahil sa patuloy na natural na pagtubo ng kuko. Ang life span ng kutex sa kin e less than 1 week sa kamay at mga 1 month sa paa...depende pa yon sa brand o kung gaano ka-sosyal ang nail salon. Malamang kung may masayang epekto man ang kasalanan...swerte na kung magtagal yon ng 1 month...pasasaan bat bibigat din ang buhay mo at nanaisin mong magbago. Ganyan talaga dahil life finds a way to correct itself and save your soul in the process.

4. Sabi ng manikurista dapat ipinapahinga ang kuko kundi maninilaw. Alternate daw dapat...kung magpapalagay ng kutex dapat sa next visit clear lang kundi masisira ang kuko. Hindi bat masisira din ang buhay kung gabi gabi na lang e maglalasing ka o kaya magsusugal? Hindi bat ikinasisira ng ulo kung lagi na lang gastos ng gastos at walang episode ng pagtitipid? So kung gagawa ng masama dapat may ginagawa ring mabuti...or better yet...wag na lang magkasala hanggat maiiwasan.

5. Nakakahiyang ipakita ang kuko kapag nagbabakbak na ang kutex. Pero ang sarap i-show off pag bagong linis. After ng linis..lalo pagnatanggal ng in-grown kakaiba ang ginhawa..parang nakahinga ang paa. =) Parang ganon din ang sense of peace pag nakapag-confess ng kasalanan at nakalabas ng himutok sa buhay. Kung may traces pa ng dating kutex...mas maiging pahiran na agad ng acetone para wag tumigas at maging bahagi ng kuko. For short, wag nang patagalin kung dapat din namang tanggalin.

Sa totoo lang, hindi naman kailangan magpa-manicure...pagnasimulan na nakakasanayan na. Ang pagkukutex gaya ng pagkakasala is a matter of choice. Laging may choice. Question lang naman is kung kayang pangibabawan ang nakasanayan na. Kaya bang tumalikod sa panandaliang saya kapalit ng pagharap sa boring pero mas mapayapang buhay?

Disclaimer: Dahil minsan kong pinaglibangan at na-enjoy ang pagpapaganda ng aking kuko ...wala akong hangaring patayin ang masaya at makulay na industriya ng nail salon. Ito ay bunga lang ng aking pagmumuni-muni. I respect nail salons and will most likely continue to avail their services para sa cleaning, buffing, massage at paraffin.

On self-worth and on being happy with who you are: Wag piliting maging balot kung ikaw ay kwek-kwek...alalahanin mong mas mura ka kesa penoy at mas malaki ka kesa sa tukneneng.

God slows us down to bring us up to speed with what heaven wants.

You can never weave words that pierce the heart and touch the soul if your heart was not crushed and renewed...and your soul not lost and rediscovered.

Ang taong mayabang ay parang electric fan na feeling aircon.

Sometimes I'm confused whether you are a soul to be saved or a bait to be avoided.

The mind is a slave of our perspective...own your perspective else it will enslave you.

What I thought of as a costly mistake actually gave me priceless life lessons.

Spread love without falling in love.

Is it just me? The season? Or is FB making poets out of wall posts? I'm in awe how the renaissance of our times unfold right before our eyes...a showcase of humanity via technology.

Fights train us to think more and feel less. Hate fights...love fun!

I've come to realize that life is not a fairytale to be fancied but a legend to be lived.

If bitterness blocks blessings and bitching breaks bridges...I wonder why some people relish bitter banters and take pride in being bitches/jerks?

Satan comes in many forms...he may even come in the form of a lover.

Tough times are opportunities for us to see how big God is...and how tough we can be as we are strengthened by His love.

Up in the clouds, a scene is made up of patches of villages, a village is made up of dots called houses...inside that house is a room that though unseen, someone lurks and thinks the world is on her shoulders. Another paradox!

= o O o =

Muster the courage to get out and get big. Perspective is when you get big enough to see all angles of a formerly unfathomable concept yet recognize that there's some life form even in the tiniest speck.

Being smart is not just a trait...its a way of life.

From control freak to control free! Why count the sand when you can build sand castles. If it gets washed out you can always build another one or just coast along the shore and relish the moment.

Isang bukas na liham para sa pagpapakasal ni Pearl...

Dear Pearl,

Pasensya at hindi ako makakarating sa araw ng iyong kasal. Parang kailan lang excited din ako kagaya mo. Walang ibang higit na importante kundi mangyari ang araw na yon. Walang halaga ang opinion ng iba lalo't higit kung kontra sa napili kong pakasalan. Walang balakid ang hindi pilit babasagin at lalampasan dahil gustong gusto ko talagang magpakasal. Matagal kong pinangarap ito at inimagine...matagal kong niluto sa isip at kinapa sa damdamin...actually, naging way of life pa nga namin dati ang pumunta sa mga wedding fair. Nagpunta kami sa wedding fairs para mag-scout ng good deals... we had some...actually parang lahat naman good deals...akala ko lang pala good deals. Ngayon naisip ko aanhin ko ang good deals if you are not in good terms.

I could fairly say na medyo kinareer ko ang paghahanda.Ginusto kong magkaron ng stable na trabaho dito sa Manila (imbes na sa matalahib na General Trias, Cavite) para paghandaan ang pagkakaron ng pamilya. Nasabi ko ba sayo na kaya ako nagpa-brace para maayos ang smile ko sa wedding picture? Forward planning ika nga. Si Baby Bug ang classic kong volks...binili ko yun para sa mga wedding related errands dahil nakita ko ang hirap ng iba na magcommute. Marami kasing lalakarin at kailangan ng sasakyan. Un na sana ang parang unang baby namin...si Baby Bug. Naisip ko rin na just in case mabuntis agad ako after the wedding si Baby Bug ang dadamay sa amin sa pagtransport sa hospital...alangan namang tumawag pa ng taxi o kaya mag-SOS sa kamag-anak e manganganak na di ba? Naipakita ko na rin sayo ang wedding worksheet ko na kulang na lang i-macros ko pa. Kumpleto un ng diagram, checklist ng lahat-lahat tsaka syempre modern na ngayon nagkaron din kami ng wedding website... akala ko lang pala na kumpleto. Ngayon naisip kong ang aanhin ko ang plano...hindi pala natin hawak ang bukas.

Everyday I would practice how to smile...make an effort how to walk and try to be as fit and as beautiful as I can be para on the big day bongga at picture perfect ang lahat. I would do prep talks sa family, tell my friends about it and bask in the surreal moment unfolding right before my eyes. Masayang isipin na at long last...after 8 years, ikakasal na ako sa college sweetheart ko at sa simbahang matagal ko na talagang gusto. Napakagandang love story...nakaka-in love...nakaka-inspire... it was one for the books...akala ko lang pala yun.

Ang tindi ng hikbi ko ngayon Pearl as I write this letter to you. Kalakip ng sulat na ito ang sanlaksang panalangin na sana magtagal ang inyong pagsasama at sana maging puno ng pagmamahal ang inyong union bilang mag-asawa. Alam mo naman na from the start...nung binalita mo palang sa amin ni Kate na go na go ka na..I have been reminding you masaya ang feeling sa alapaap pero keep your feet on the ground...maging bukas sa realidad ng buhay at makita mo nawa ang mga bagay-bagay for what they really are. My wedding day was a lucid dream...I was aware it was a dream and I was right there at the center of everything. Ang saya talaga ng pakiramdam...parang naka-auto pilot mode ako na sobrang over whelming ang lahat ng bagay. Ang saya dahil nandon ang mga kamag anak at kaibigan namin...pati na rin mga kaibigan ng mga magulang namin. Eventually you'll know kung sino ang totoo mong kaibigan...kung sino ang totoo mong kapamilya. Kung ano ang saya...ganon din ang lungkot. Pero hindi ako nanghihinayang na nagmahal ako minsan.

Pearl, ayaw kong matakot ka sa kasal dahil sa nangyari sa kin. Continue to believe that true love exists. I know it does. Hindi ko nga lang alam anong nangyari. Or baka it was true for that moment pero hindi na after. Magpasakop ka pero don't lose yourself in the process. Magmahal ka ng buong buo pero manatili kang buo. Totoong hindi sya kanin na iluluwa mo lang dahil mainit...you'll really have to digest it...pero pag nagkasakit ka na dahil sa indigestion..you'd have to excrete it. Bottomline ko siguro...mahalin mo ang sarili mo.

May both of you have enough love sa sarili nyo para you have enough love to give. Don't give more than what you can dahil human nature ang mag-expect ng kapalit. Kahit di mo isipin na nag iisip ka ng kapalit sumasagi un paminsan minsan sa ulo natin...kakasagi ng kakasagi ayun mauumpog ka na lang isang araw marerealize mo nagpakatanga ka. Continue to dream pero wag kang pakatanga. Love with wisdom. Be wise but be compassionate. At the end of the day, its not about you finding the right partner pero kung naging masaya ka ba sa bagong ikaw nung naging kayo.

Again, pasensya ka na at hindi ako makakarating sa araw ng kasal mo. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang makakita ng kinakasal...siguro hindi pa muna and for that I am sorry dahil hanggang dito lang ang kaya ko for now. I have learned how to detach myself from painful situations and from toxic people who hurt me and drag me down. Remember to keep your safety, sanity and soul in check at all times. May you be protected from all the negative vibes...but if in case you are in a helpless condition...cry for help and help will come. Wag mong kayanin lahat because walang may kaya ng lahat kundi Sya.

Sabi sa vows for better or worse...ang sarap pakinggan no? Sometimes this vow makes people complacent...okay lang na walang trabaho...okay lang na magulo...okay lang na walang pera...okay lang na tulog lang ng tulog at awayin ka lang ng awayin kasi dapat kaya at tanggap ung worse. If true love exists both parties should strive to be better individuals so that as partners they can lead and live better lives. One has to think that whatever action, words or thought ng partner nya un na ang best that he/she can give para if worse things come you'll pull each other up.

Ilang araw na lang you'll say "I do", exchange your vows, 1st kiss, 1st dance...the works! May you have enough memories and reason to stay together...and when you ran out of reason...may love be enough to get you through it all.

I wish you a stress-free and beautiful wedding and more importantly a blissful, loving and Christ-centered married life.

As is where is...always in all ways,
Aya

People you love the most hurt you best.

Makati to Bulacan Its Complicated!

Pauwi ng Bocaue, Bulacan si Rina galing Makati. Sabi nya mas gusto nyang mag-commute kesa mag-taxi. Ayaw nyang magtaxi kasi hindi safe at malamang kasi mas mahal. Sabi ni Mommy Marie, mahirap ding sabihan ng direksyon ang driver ng taxi sa mahabang byahe...hay, it's complicated!

Sadya akong mapag-isip at isang AhA! moment at AyAlogy na naman ang bumulusok sa aking sentido. Gaya ng isang habag na relasyon ang mahabang byaheng nakataxi...it's complicated and it comes with a price that is truly costly!

Mahal ang bayad sa de-kontratang taxi...kadalasan, kahit na pa over over sa mahal ang kontrata, nag-eexpect pa ng tip ang driver dahil wala na daw pasahero pabalik. Abusado di ba? May ganon din sa relasyon...todo-buhos ka na aba'y nag-eexpect pa!

Mag-isa mo ring pagtitiisan ang taxing hindi naman kagandahan...ang kwento, ang korning pinapakinggan nya sa radyo pati na mga pagmumura na sadya nyang kinalakihan. Pilit din nating pinagkakatiwalaan ang mamang driver na ihatid tayo door to door kahit na pa gaano sya kabalasubas mag-drive at kamareklamo sa hirap ng buhay...hindi naman pala nya alam ang daan at maglalakad ka rin mag-isa. Oh di ba sa relasyon ganon din? Tatanggapin mo lahat lahat sa pag-aakalang pagtapos ng dambana ng pagpapakasal e you will live happily ever after tapos sadya palang solo flight din bagsak mo. Bitter? No...nagpapakatotoo lang.

Nakakatakot ding isipin na may mga driver na mapagsamantala. Ililigaw ka sa byahe na kunyari short-cut..ang gusto lang pala e pumatak ang metro at maka-jackpot pang-boundary. May ilang driver ding may kasabwat na holdaper at kung anu-anong modus operandi sa buhay ang ginagawa...pagnabiktima ka e sorry na lang...lesson learned ika nga. Gaya sa taxi, dapat pumili talaga ng wastong partner sa buhay.

Sa pagsakay ko sa taxi naisip ko tuloy...convenient nga bang mag-taxi o mas sosyal lang sya sa jeep o bus o sa paglalakad kaya pumapatok? Bat nga ba ako nagtataxi? Hay...ang saya mag-isip ng malaya! Buti na lang sa Paco lang ako.

*Isang pasintabi sa mga taxi driver, mga kapamilya at kaibigan nila...opinion lang po ito. Naniniwala pa rin akong marangal ang inyong trabaho at may mga naliligaw lang ng landas. Sensya na...may pinaghuhugutan lang.

People should stop romanticizing Romeo and Juliet and all the other me against the world brouhaha...its a tragedy! Romeo and Juliet died...do you want to die? True love is a bliss. True love lives!

Masokista

Ako ang karit na pinanggapas mo ng damo at mga nakahambalang sa masukal na gubat. Minsan mo akong hinanay kasama ng sibat ng mga datu at kalasag ng mga dakilang mandirigma.



Ako ang pison na naglatag ng semento sa iyong kalsada't nagpatag ng iyong daan. Nagtiis sa araw at ulan...bumanyuhay sa kahabaan ng daan mag-isa. Nagpawis, nagutom, napagod ng may galak sa paniniwalang may balang araw akong aasahan.



Ako ang masong pinangpanday mo ng mga kailangan at nais mong sandata. Sige ang palo...sige ang pagpapagamit. Ako na ang tatanggap ng sakit...ng init...ng sagupaang metal sa metal na daig ang sanlaksang nag uumpugang bato!



Ito rin ang masong pumalo sa karit na naging ako. Ako rin ang kumarit sa pison...at ang pison ang pumisa sa maso! Buong buong pag-aalay kahit na luray-luray.

Tagpas...kumalas!
Pisat...ibaon!
Lagapak...wasak!

Gayunpaman...lahat ng nasira'y mabubuo...babangon!

Everyone is predisposed to greatness but only few have the disposition and commitment to be truly great.

I'm the maggot who cleansed you, ate your dead cells and made you well...I simply wanted you to live happily. I'm the maggot thrown mindlessly by a heartless ingrate! I'm a maggot...you're the parasite!

My Meals and Me

I like to eat. I eat a lot! I can't resist buffets and gatherings (because of the food and people of course). However, I also want to be trim and fit. I wish I was healthier. I wanted to lose 3inches off of my waist and 15lbs all over...it worries me though it might shrink my breast size from a C to the usual B and be less voluptuous (LOL!) It dawned on me that I may be confusing the universe with what I really want as my ideal size and shape...which result into my yoyo image of being either haggardly thin or consciously fat. Darn!

I make a constant resolution not to eat rice...not to eat pork or any meat...increase my veggies and fruits...drink at least 2liters of water which is the ideal volume for my weight. I sincerely want to stick to my diet but end up procrastinating...maybe I'll start tomorrow (oh no not again?!). I wanted to stick to the 1-sweet treat per week but end up craving for a bit of dessert mostly anything chocolatey or a scoop of ice cream after each meal.

As I contemplate on why I can't seem to stick to a diet and for fear that I'd balloon some more with the holidays coming...I figured another AhA moment...another one for my AyAlogy! Everyday life gives us a daily menu...a healthy and not so healthy selection of what we can have. If we know what we want, take in what is healthy and have just the right proportion, each meal can truly be satisfying and pleasant.

My Meals AyAlogy:

1. Know what you want. When I crave for something, I usually am able to have it within a week after the initial desire gets planted into my thoughts. It could be as simple as a coffee jelly, a caramel fudge, a Dear Darla pizza...or a total banchetto of what I want to eat! I would either buy it myself or by some stroke of luck have that treat for free! I'm not sure how it happens...it just happens.

There are times when I know I am hungry but I don't know what to eat...its hard to precisely spell out what I want. During those times, people around me would suggest food choices that simply just pushes off what I was searching for. It frustrates me whenever this happens. To keep peace and harmony, I just echo what people order. This ping pong of food debate mirrors what happens when we don't know what we want. It is frustrating and we just adhere to people's suggestions which may not necessarily be the best choice.

2. Take in what is healthy. Just like how I avoid junk food and softdrinks, I now have learned to stay away from toxic people. I've learned selective listening and I've stopped comparing to avoid jealousy, envy and bad vibes.

I eat breakfast. I would rather be late for a meeting than miss breakfast. I now try to just have my breakfast earlier or make sure that that early meeting includes breakfast as a healthy compromise. Breakfast makes me feel happy. It gives me that sense that I am starting my day right. I value my morning. If there is a forcefield which can ward off all negativity, I'll buy it to protect my mornings! I want my morning filled with sunshine, smiles and happy tunes.

As we get through the day, there is a temptation for bad short cuts. Some would even say 'masarap ang bawal'. To that my response is: 'mas masarap ang tama'. Would you rather have a slowly decaying life or life well-lived geared towards a peaceful and happy death?

3. Have the right proportion. I learned not to starve myself. When I am hungry, anything tastes good...I eat anything regardless of cost, cleanliness and nutritional value. Just like in life, I should not hold back and starve myself from enjoying life. Desperate people take in anything...it could come in a the form of a single stream income, a dead end job, an abusive relationship...all costly, rubbish and unhealthy.

Starving leads us to binge. If we binge, we throw up. When we hold back too long, it creates a void that we desperately want to fill that we take in too much. When we take in too much, we burn out...we end up sick and we feel worst.

Sometimes we order more than what we can eat and end up with left overs and a bad indigestion. In the cafeteria of life, we ought to know how much we can take to prevent the guilt of having left overs and ward off the curse of gluttony. I now know how to parry the unessentials and trim down my choices...now more than ever, I've learned the importance of not taking more more than what I can chew.

Sometimes because we want to save on food, we end up paying for more. I once tried to be super frugal--a 25 peso meal + 10 pesos for softdrinks and 2 pesos for candy-- what a treat! The rice was cold, the viand was substandard and the softdrinks was warm! The only decent tasting piece was the double-mint gum I chewed as I tried to look for another place to eat! What a waste of time and money! I learned that there are some wise investments and costs we have to make to get through life.

***

My mom always say we are what we eat. But then again, people do not live just to eat...they eat to live. May you and I find the discipline and prudence to eat right and live brightly!

AyAlogies are everywhere!

There is no osmosis in gender orientation...if you're not 100% male, you're gay! Nothing wrong with that...just be the true you!

Maybe I was too good for you and you were too bad for me and vice versa. Someday, you and I will meet someone with a perfect dose of good and bad which will make everything else tolerable.

Life is too short to justify regrets, to create resentment and to fight resistance.

Our arms are too short to hug ourselves but long enough to make someone feel so surrounded by love.

Met you by accident, we've responded by choice, whatever happens...let's leave it to fate.

Love is the very ashes left when the romance dies and being in love has been burned away.

Love just like fire burns...it flirts and flickers...gets fueled, becomes fierce and hot...it consumes everything...leaves nothing and anything burned will never be the same again.

Kudos to the weak, the worthless and those in their worst of times...there's no way but up and nothing more valuable than transforming for the better.

It's hard to strike a balance. Maybe I should be weak enough to need you yet strong enough for you to need me too...

It is okay to rush and rest but do not rest in rush. Stressful rest is a glorified weekend paradox. I am thankful for my dull yet full weekend...I'm glad to realize the peaceful pace of patience and the soothing sensation of stillness.

I've chosen the path of character over compromise. People deserve no less than the best. Why settle for sub-optimal compromises?

I don't create a kaboom impression but I leave a lasting mark. Have I left an imprint on you?

To professional Pinocchios, its time to get real...Christmas is near! How long will you pretend Jiminy Cricket does not exist? He does! We call him conscience.

How sure are you with your version of the truth? When you tell your version to people, are you convincing them or yourself?

After my life's inertia, I'm finally enjoying an orgy of orgasmic Aha! moments! Lord, please make this sustainable and help me be strategic. May you and I have a daily tantric experience! Life is soooo good!

Quote MotTo - 056

Overwhelmed by your personal, virtual and astral greetings--wallposts, messages, pokes, comments, SMS, email, calls. 30 is the new 18! Thank you very much for making me feel special and loved. Love y'all! Spread the love! Live to love!

Quote MotTo - 055

A birthday is a personal new year.

Quote MotTo - 054

When the intensity of the moment ceases, the void is filled by questions: what went wrong when all I wanted was to make it right? what lies ahead when even today is too uncertain? I'm filled with peace knowing I did more than my best and the rest is beyond my control.

Quote MotTo - 053

Dear orneries, please stay away. This face is meant to smile. (Ornery - mean/difficult people whose passion is to contradict/oppose and ruin people's sunshine.) May you and I have an ornery-free week! =)

Quote MotTo - 052

I'm not eccentric just esoteric. Your miniscule mind needs some amino acids...sorry, mine is not for sale.

Quote MotTo - 051

Now wiser and stronger...a year after Typhoon Ketsana (Ondoy) and some storms of life. The damage has been done and the loss is irretrievable but life ain't done yet thus my perceived loss is still very much retrievable...might even get back all in a better form...in a better state.

Quote MotTo - 050

Babae-- isa kang poste. Haligi na...ilaw pa. So far the toughest/strongest huMans I've met are woMen.

Quote MotTo - 049

From fear to freedom...faith is the only bridge.

Quote MotTo - 049

The only perfect love is God's love. I believe in God. I believe in love.

Quote MotTo - 048

People unafraid to fail and fall are the only ones destined to win and fly.

Quote MotTo - 047

Happiness is a choice. Choose wisely. Love is happiness. Love is a choice.

Quote MotTo - 046

Taking things in stride but make each day count...Love truly and true love will come!

Quote MotTo - 045

Out of the compassion of the cosmic forces, life pokes us and at times throws us surprises. Let us open and read our heart's inbox and not rely on news feeds to get life's message loud and clear.

Quote MotTo - 044

Nothingness led me to everything. It led me to You! Nothing can ever replace God's love.

Quote MotTo - 043

Sometimes, the more you connect...the more you lose the connection. Sometimes less is more and more is less. Life is a paradox!

Quote MotTo - 042

Death is our birthday to after-life. Each day that passes brings us closer to D-day.

Quote MotTo - 041

People who tell you what you want to hear may not necessarily do what you expect them to do.

Quote MotTo - 040

Happiness is fleeting if you don't make it a constant choice.

Quote MotTo - 039

Beautiful lives are not made overnight. Its either a product of a very ugly past conquered or a very determined individual drawn to love, driven to win and anchored to faith.

Quote MotTo - 037

SOLO means - Strategic move to Obtenebrate the past & Live freely Once more!

Quote MotTo - 036

Don't do. Just be.

Quote MotTo - 035

Social media evens out the playing field.

Quote MotTo - 034

Fairytale makes me wish for someday. Dreaming gives me the energy for tomorrow. Today is a choice I made for me. In time fairytales, dreams, miracles and everything in between will co-exist.

Quote MotTo - 033

Some songs make me think of some people...some people remind me of some songs. Thankful to happy people and their happy songs.

Quote MotTo - 032

Kahit gaano kalakas kumain ang katabi mo, di ka tataba. Kahit gaano ka kahina kumain di papayat katabi mo. My point: wag manisi ng iba. At best they can only influence...ultimately sa buhay man o sa pagkain its your choice.

Quote MotTo - 031

I won't forget this. Pain strengthens me. I won't forget why...why I chose peace. Peace is wisdom. Wisdom is strength.

Quote MotTo - 030

One is never too old for fairy tales. One is never too young for success. After 3 decades, I've gone full circle!

Quote MotTo - 029

Job security is a fallacy. Work-life balance is a farce. It takes perpetual re-invention of one's self to be truly indispensable. Change is not for the faint-hearted.

Quote MotTo - 028

People quit not because they can't but because it is futile to push further.

Quote MotTo - 027

Rather than put my past behind, I am putting my best past forward.

Quote MotTo - 026

I have been busy daydreaming. Tonight I'll dream some more. Yes, I am a serious dreamer. Pretty soon my dreams will come to life for I won't stop till I see it happen. If my dreams are aligned to God's will...it will happen. =)

Quote MotTo - 025

Discomfort is a sign of growth. I sometimes get excited when I am at my lowest. Some call it insane, I call it survival. Metamorphosis makes me happy.

Quote MotTo - 024

When we see things as they are...a frog is a frog and not an imagined prince. Kiss the fairytale away and get real before you turn into a frog yourself. At best, he is just a frog who can talk. To all my sisses, bellas, BFFs and princesses, may you have a pretty week ahead!

Quote MotTo - 023

There is wisdom in forgiveness. But before I fall into another cycle of folly...excuse me, I am moving on. Cheers to irrefutable peace!

Quote MotTo - 022

Not all good things last, not all bad things end...we may not know why but in time it will all make sense.

Quote MotTo - 021

A wise quitter is better than a foolish go-getter.

Quote MotTo - 020

Ours is a failed relationship made in heaven. It is perfectly incompatible. If you had to ask why...then go figure!

Quote MotTo - 019

A polar question is a question answerable by "yes" or "no". Sounds simple yet profound and very life changing. Sometimes we say "no" despite a burning "yes". Sometimes we say "yes" but within, its more like "its a no, but let's give it a try". Is there really a polar question?

Quote MotTo - 018

Dear heart, could you love and hate at the same time with the same intensity? Yeah, I know you could bear all things.

Quote MotTo - 017

I have two options die mediocre or endure the pain towards greatness.

Quote MotTo - 016

When you stop being greedy and you share yourself freely with the needy--everything is possible. I believe in abundance!

Kung Maiksi ang Kumot, Matutong Mamaluktot

Napansin kong maraming salawikaing Pilipino na bagamat sa kagyat ay maganda ang mensahe tila ang mga ito ay atrasado, negatibo at nagpupugay sa pagtitiis. Naisip kong baka naman panahon nang baguhin ang ilan dito.

Isa sa salawikaing tinutukoy ko ay: kung maiksi ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot.

Di ko maintindihan kung anong klaseng laba ang ginawa para umiksi ang isang kumot. Bigla kayang dumami ang gumagamit ng kumot kaya kinapos? O baka naman maiksi na talaga nung binili. Iisa lang ba ang kumot nila?

Di rin ako sang-ayon sa payo na dapat matuto mamaluktot. Maling posture ang baluktot matulog. Kung mali ang posture mo sa pagtulog, hindi ka makakatulog ng mahimbing. Malamang mainit ang ulo mo kinabukasan. Pano ka makakabili ng mas malaking kumot kung di maganda ang gising mo?

Naiintindihan ko naman na hindi literal ang mga salawikain. Gayunpaman, kung ang hangad nito ay maisalarawan ang konsepto upang mas madaling maintindihan ang aral--ang pamamaluktot o pagtitiis sa panahon ng kakapusan ay hindi nakakatulong upang pahabain ang kumot. Ang ibig kong sabihin, may mas aktibong dapat gawin ang taong may maiksing kumot. Hanggang kailan sya mamamaluktot?

May joke pa nga na kung maiksi ang kumot, sa baby ipagamit. Mas may sense pa yata ang joke kesa sa totoong salawikain. Nararapat lang na baguhin na ito.

Ano-ano ba ang dahilan ng pagiging kapos ng kumot? Tumangkad ka ba? Umurong ang laba? O may naki-share?

Hindi overnight ang pag-laki...malamang kung tumangkad ka, may pambili ka na ng mas mahabang kumot. Kung sobrang tangkad mo, aba'y magbasketball player ka. Kung magkaganon, hindi lang kumot pwede mong bilhin...kahit comforter o mas mahabang kama pa. Ang ibig kong ipakiwari hindi overnight ang paglaki ng gastos. Habang tumatanda tayo, dapat lamang na lumaki din ang kita natin at nakapag impok na tayo kung sakali mang umiksi ang kumot.

Kung mali ang laba. Sino ba ang nag-laba? Dapat lang siguro na pagbayarin ang may sala. Kung ikaw ang nagkamali, iisa lang ba talaga ang kumot mo? Manghiram ka kaya muna? Tapos bumili ka ng kumot pag-sale. Isauli ng maayos ang hiniram na kumot. Kung hindi ikaw ang dahilan ng pag-iksi ng kumot o pagiging kapos mo, fair lang na maningil. Wala tayong mararating kung laging palalampasin ang may sala. Mabuting ugali ang magpatawad pero wag tayong maging bulag sa pagbabayad sala. Kung ikaw ang dahilan at emergency bat ka kinapos, wala naman sigurong masama kung manghiram ka muna. Basta ba't tumupad ka sa usapan at gumawa ng paraan para magkaron ka ng sarili mong kumot sa lalong madaling panahon.

Kung may naki-share ng kumot, gusto mo ba yung katabi mo o napipilitan ka lang? Wag magtiis kung napilitan ka lang dyan sa nakikishare ng kumot mo. Kung gusto mo naman ang katabi mo, masarap talagang magsiksikan pero hindi tatagal, gugustuhin nyo din ng space at kakailanganin nyo din ng mas malaking kumot. Dahil dalawa kayo, malamang pwede nyo nang hatian ang pagbili ng mas malaking kumot. Kung wala syang maibibigay na share siguro naman may silbi sya sa buhay mo kahit inspirasyon lang...pag inspirado, umaasenso...kalaunan makakabili ka din ng mas malaking kumot.

Marahil masyado na akong nagiging pilosopo. Naisip ko pa ngang siguro nung panahong nagawa ang salawikaing yan, wala pang global warming o wala pang electric fan pantaboy sa lamok. Kailangan pa ba talaga ng kumot ngayon? Isang kumot lang ba dapat?

Di ko pa naiisip pano babaguhin ang salawikaing yan. Ang alam ko lang, ayaw kong mamaluktot at hindi ako magtitiis sa baluktot na ugali ke may kumot man o wala.

Itutuloy...

P.S. Isa itong re-post mula sa aking Friendster blog na may title na "ABAKADA MO 'TO". Minarapat kong ilipat upang mabasa bago makalimutan ng panahon.

Quote MotTo - 015

I'd rather take that rough long road to something certain than a short smooth path that leads to nowhere. Taking risks is indeed liberating!

Quote MotTo - 014

When the going gets too tough, maybe its not meant to be. Letting go sometimes makes us tougher.

Quote MotTo - 013

Maybe bad things happen to good people to give bad people an opportunity to be good and to make good people better.

Quote MotTo - 012

As i reflect on what i'd like to be...my new goal is beginning to make sense. I want to be A capitalist so I can make capital changes to make the world a better place.

Quote MotTo - 011

Persistence can only work if one is humble, determined and has mastered the art of perfect timing.

Quote MotTo - 010

When there is rain, my thoughts pour. When there is sun, my energy rise.

ABAKADA KO

Maraming beses ko na yata naisip na abnormal ako. Kahapon lang natanong ko ito sa Mama ko. Ewan bakit sa panahong akala ng tao na down ako, eto ako't excited na excited na parang wala akong pinangangambahan?

Ang paniniwala ko kasi blessing ang mga panahong ito. Ilan nga bang kasing edad ko ang nagkasakit ng higit 6-na buwan, aalis sa trabahong naging tahanan ko rin ng halos 4 na taon, magbabayad ng utang na makalaglag upuan at magsisimula ng bagong buhay na wala ang taong halos isang dekada ko ring kasama? Exciting di ba?

Sa totoo lang, kapag ang sitwasyon ay nakalulugmok natutuwa ako dahil alam kong pasasaan ba't aangat din ako, matatapos din ito at pagkatapos ng lahat may natutunan ako, malalamang mas naging mabuti akong tao dahil sa karanasan na yon at kung tama ang pagtahak ko sa "episode" na ito mas may karapatan akong magbahagi ng payo sa iba. Pakiramdam ko hindi ko hawak ang sarili ko sa mga panahong ito. Parang may invisible hand at secret voice na gumagabay sa kin kung ano ang gagawin, saan pupunta, ano ang sasabihin, sino ang kakausapin. Hindi ko kontrolado ang kamay at boses na iyon pero alam kong choice kong sumunod o hindi. Salamat naman at hindi pa ako napapahamak ng todo.

Nung bata pa ako sobra akong sakitin na halos every quarter yata nasa ospital kami dahil sa asthma. Subalit hindi naging hadlang iyon para hindi ako mag-aral. Dahil nga lagi akong absent, binibigay ko ang 300% ko kapag present ako sa klase para makabawi. Akalain mong kalaunan bawat taon 1st Honor pa ako at naging Valedictorian pa nga. Nakakasali rin ako sa mga Quiz Bee at inter-school activities kahit na hikain ako...mahina lang talaga ako sa PE. Hindi naman siguro abnormal yun.

Pag-dating ng High School, baguhan ako sa Paco at wala akong kilala ne-isang estudyante. Di ko akalain na pag-dating ng 3rd year ako pa ang nanalong Vice President ng Student Council...landslide pa yata sa populasyong halos dalawang libo. Nagkaron pa nga ako ng dilema bago mag-4th year dahil ako rin ang Junior Associate Editor ng Gazette at kailangan isang major organization lang ang pamunuan. Wala akong pinili sa dalawa nung 4th year ako. Pinili kong maging anak at ate...ka-barkada at simpleng estudyante. Enjoy naman ako. Abnormal ba?

May hang-up pa yata ako sa pagiging sakitin kaya nung College gusto kong patunayan sa sarili ko na hindi ako weakling. Pag may asthma, mahirap mag-salita dahil nakakahingal. Dahil dito malakas ang kagustuhan kong maging boses ng mga hindi nakapagsasalita o takot mag-salita. Naging laman ako ng kalye bilang isang aktibista. Parang kulang pa ang challenge kaya sumali pa ako sa isang sorority kahit ga-bundok ang takot kong baka hindi na ako makalabas ng buhay. Ang sarap ng feeling...hindi ako quitter, hindi ako weakling. Abnormal?

Kahit nung nag-trabaho ako buong-buo ko ring binibigay ang sarili ko kahit para sa iba e trabaho lang yon. Parang dikit sa kaluluwa ko kasi na mapasaya, makapag-serbisyo at maibigay kung ano ang nararapat. Lagi kong target na higitan pa kung ano ang naibigay ko na. Walang pagkakaiba sa kin kung ang sweldo ko ay 10thousand o 100thousand o kahit pa 1milyon...pareho ang binibigay kong dedikasyon, oras at puso. Abnormal talaga no?

Sa love life naman marami rin akong katangahan. Give kung give pero pag natauhan mapapalitan ng move on kung move on. Kung akala ng iba sa kaliwa ako papunta, kakanan ako...minsan kakaliwa ng konti pero pa-derecho talaga. May pagka-unpredictable ako para sa iba pero sa mga tunay na nakakakilala sa akin, simple lang naman talaga ako...may pagka-weird lang minsan...may pagka-abnormal.

Kung ganito ang maging abnormal buong puso kong ihahayag na masaya maging abnormal. Mahirap talaga ako espelengin. May sarili kasi akong pag-iisip...yan ang ABAKADA ko.

P.S. Isa itong re-post mula sa aking Friendster blog na may title na "ABAKADA MO 'TO". Minarapat kong ilipat upang mabasa bago makalimutan ng panahon.

Quote MotTo - 009

Heliocentrism is so passe. As the sun is not the center of the universe...you're not the center of mine.

Quote MotTo - 008

People who truly believe don't ask for signs, don't wait for signs and certainly don't need signs. I would rather have something average but authentic than some spectacular sign.

Quote MotTo - 007

Some days are just mundane, some are totally uneventful and there are days which turn our life upside down...after that day things will never be the same again. I welcome change.

Facebook Wallpost 2010 - 1st Half

You'll never know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have. God is greater than any Goliath. There is hope for as long as there is faith.

March 26 at 4:51pm

The three essentials of happiness -- something to do, something to love, and something to hope for -- can all be found in JESUS! HAPPY EASTER!

April 4 at 6:41pm

There is no exercise better for our well-being than reaching down and lifting people up. Happy to know I was allowed to go back. =)

April 15 at 7:24pm

If you know how to perfectly live my life, are you willing to trade places and stay in a hospital bed for 2wks not knowing when or how you could really get well? You can take away everything but you can't take my spirit. I choose to hope and be optimistic. I believe in God's love.

May 14 at 4:47pm
In this tell-all generation, maybe things will be a lot better if we speak
less and listen more. If you need to ask who to listen to...well, you
might be talking too much. Balance is the key to happiness.

May 15 at 3:30pm

When even the sligtest most guarded basic movement causes pain, one is left to think. as long as i can still read, write, talk and think, i can still be grateful...i can still love. when one can still love and continue to have faith, the possibility remains endless.

May 15 at 6:35pm

If this procedure is true...I think I would rather wait, really pray hard and believe in miracles.

May 15 at 8:28pm


Another week...I welcome all the trials and problems Lord. Those are but opportunities for us to trust You more. One day, we will testify to Your greatness--for prayers answered and for miracles yet to come. That day is today.

May 17 at 1:37pm

I would rather say I am okay and try to be upbeat than acknowledge the pain and be enveloped by self-pity. There is a very thin line between delusion and optimism...if you choose life, it doesn't matter whether you delude yourself that you will get well or remain genuinely optimistic. When you think you know, in fact you don't. Right now, I don't know. I choose the path of least resistance.

May 20 at 10:15am

Forgiveness is another term for love. Love leads to happiness. The secret of happiness is freedom. I have forgiven. I have loved. Hope to be truly happy. Looking forward to be free.

June 13 at 8:51pm

Hope God completes my metamorphosis soon.

June 14 at 8:59am

Love your enemies...that is perfection in action.

June 15 at 1:20pm

Life ought to be simple. Or maybe it is so simple that some people are compelled to complicate it.

June 16 at 6:05pm

Some men are reluctant to be fathers coz they still have loads of hang ups and want to remain childish. To all responsible men who toil quietly and genuinely love their families-- Happy Father's Day! I love my Papa!

June 20 at 1:41pm

Jericho Rosales in I'll Be There: "The world can be nicer to you if you could only be nicer to the world." Aya adds: So be nice to me...I'm not the world but you mean the world to me.

June 21 at 12:15pm

‎"Life is test. Sometimes we fail the test--we stumble and fall. Failing in one test does not mean failing in life." Standing up is a choice. Moving on is mandatory.

June 21 at 3:30pm

I may not be fruitful now but I am trying to bear real fruit that pleases God. It is a process. Process takes time...and a whole lot of patience, self-denial and prayers.

June 23 at 12:50pm

Kaya nga hindi ako nag-artista dahil gusto ko ng tahimik na buhay at ayaw ko ng intriga.

June 23 at 12:54pm

‎"Let the dead bury their dead" -- Cherishing the past, putting aside wavering and moving forward fearlessly.

June 27 at 11:44am

A decade of somnambulism is finally over. Thank God for waking me up!

June 29 at 8:30am

Is proud to be a Filipino and is praying for P-Noy. Ako ang simula ng pagbabago!

June 30 at 12:38pm

Facebook Wall posts circa 2009

Taking things in stride... trying to be selective to be effective.

June 7, 2009 at 1:23pm

Things that hurt teach. Ang buhay ay pansamantala lamang.

June 26, 2009 at 12:02am

Over worked...over used. This should be over soon.

July 2, 2009 at 6:58am

The tree has no contact with the soil...how can you expect love when you don't know where to draw it from? May you and I feel God's love so we can have enough love to give.

July 3, 2009 at 8:25am

My grandmother turned 90 yesterday. =) July 2, 1919...my roots, my future. At the end of the day, everything has connection somehow.

July 3, 2009 at 8:29am

At the end of the day...is another day. =)

July 8, 2009 at 12:51am

While knowledge make us feel important, it is love that really make us feel whole-- I would rather be complete than important.

July 9, 2009 at 7:49am

Life is not a to do list...we are human beings, not human doings =)

July 11, 2009 at 12:20pm

There's a thin line between quitting and moving on. What now?

July 12, 2009 at 9:44am

I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am. Love begets love.

July 13, 2009 at 9:58pm

Be cold as you want to be. Know that to stay warm is to stay alive. That's natural law...and I believe in natural law. You can only ruin me if I allow you to.

July 21, 2009 at 7:38am

Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking. I think I need to rest.

July 22, 2009 at 12:33am

Eventually, life will correct itself. I'm back =)

September 2, 2009 at 11:41pm

‎09/09/09...everyday is history in the making

September 9, 2009 at 12:14am

Pain is temporary, giving up lasts forever! Aya @ 29 a little bit wiser, a whole lot stronger and definitely not giving up!!!

October 7, 2009 at 11:41am

It is not the strongest who survives --but the one that is most adaptable to change. I will survive =)

October 13, 2009 at 12:42am

We're hired to solve not to sulk. So work...its Friday anyway.

October 16, 2009 at 7:43pm

In the profession of our faith as well as faith in our profession, we will be harassed by the evil one...but as long as we stand firm in our faith, we shall overcome!

October 21, 2009 at 6:17pm

‎10years...half full or half empty? It doesn't matter as long as the glass is not broken, as long as there is water and it remains clean. The glass is me, the water is my soul...I pray for peace and wisdom..


December 3, 2009 at 3:16am
Intends to slow down. Doing and having more doesn't always translate to happiness. Clarity over clutter. Decision over desire. Substance over status.


December 6, 2009 at 1:09pm
Believes in after life. Promises of forever, life's pain and pleasure...all these will come to pass. Christmas decor, gift rush and other Christmas stuff...are these preparations for the here and now or for what lies beyond our grasp?


December 9, 2009 at 11:11am
More face to face...less facebook.


December 30, 2009 at 6:14pm
Looking back...to move forward. =)

December 30, 2009 at 9:02pm

-end-

Kamusta ba Ka-ABAKADA?

Ang pinakamahirap daw gawin ay mag-simula. Maraming demonyo sa sarili ang kailangang kalabanin at maraming pagdududa sa iba ang dapat pangibabawan.
Tatlong taon ako ng magsimulang mag-aral. Marami akong nursery rhyme tapes na may kasamang libro at tila na-memorya ko kung kailan lilipat ng pahina. Ayon sa kwento ng nanay ko, tuwang-tuwa silang makitang para akong nagbabasa. Ang totoo, hindi talaga ako marunong.

Sakitin ako nung bata. Hanggang ngayon yata ako’y sakitin pa rin (pero ibang kwento na to). Dahil sa pagiging sakitin, hindi ko natapos ang prep sa La Consolacion College. Nilipat nila ako sa National Teacher’s College upang ipagpatuloy ang pag-aaral. Anila may mga student teacher doon na maaari akong tutukan. Ganun pa man, muntik na akong umulit ng Kinder dahil hindi ako natutong magbasa. Asar talo ako dati na kahit Grade 1 hindi ako makaka-abot. Sayang naman ang pangarap ng abugado kong tatay at matalino kong nanay. Sayang, panganay pa naman ako.

Pinagtyagaan ako ng nanay na turuan ng ABAKADA. Hindi naman pala ako ma-purol. Kailangan ko lang ng TLC. Salamat sa pag-unawa ng aking teacher, naka-graduate din ako ng Kinder. Para namang naaliw ako kababasa at ka-aaral naging First Honor ako mula Grade 1 hanggang Grade 5 at naka-graduate ng Valedictorian sa Elementarya. Lahat ng yan dahil sa ABAKADA at iba pang TLC na natanggap ko habang ako’y lumalaki.
Nung hindi pa ako marunong mag-basa, parang ang galing-galing ng lahat at ang bobo bobo ko. Sa mga payak palang pagsasama ng mga patinig at katinig, dagdagan ng konting tyaga at TLC, mamumulat pala ako sa mundong lahat ay posible. Nagkaron ako ng kumpiyansa sa sarili kahit ako’y sakitin. Mula sa kumpiyansang iyon, umapoy ang hangarin kong makatulong din sa iba.

Sa ngayon, ang tanging hadlang sa hindi ko pag-sulat ay katamaran at kawalan ng inspirasyon. Hanggat may ABAKADA, may salita. Hanggat may salita maaari itong tahiin ayon sa diwa ng damdamin at sigaw ng kaluluwa. Hindi lang ito ang Tagalog version ng sinisimulan kong blog na ABCs of Aya. Ito’y higit na malalim pagka’t naka-angkla ito sa wika ng aking lahi. Hanggat may ABAKADA ay may kwento. Ito ay blog ko upang ikwento sa masa ang kwento nila.

Mahirap din daw ang magpatuloy sa sinimulan. Maraming demonyo sa sarili ang kailangang kalabanin at maraming pagdududa sa iba ang dapat pangibabawan.
Ano mang hirap–sa simula man, sa gitna o sa huli–alam kong bawat pagbagtas sa yugto ay may dalang sariling hamon. Habang nalalampasan ang mga hamon, tumitindi ang susunod na pagsubok, tumatatag at tumitindi din ang kakayahan nating harapin ang mga mahihirap ispelengin sa buhay. Nawa’y sabay tayong bumanyuhay sa buhay.

Ikaw? Kamusta ba Ka-Abakada?

P.S. Isa itong re-post mula sa aking Friendster blog na may title na "ABAKADA MO 'TO". Minarapat kong ilipat upang mabasa bago makalimutan ng panahon.

Bakit ABAKADA?

Ika-30 ng Setyembre 1980 ng ako'y ipinananganak. Gayunpaman, sa aking diwa, hindi ang petsang yan ang simula ng aking kwento pagka't ako'y bahagi ng kasaysayan ng aking bansa. Naniniwala rin ako na bago pa man ako sinilang, mayron nang nakalaang layunin ang aking buhay. Kung ano man 'yon, hindi pa malinaw at hindi ko pa napagtatanto. Ang mahalaga sa ngayon ay hindi ako sumusuko upang malaman, maintindihan at kung ito'y bumungad sa akin...gawin ng buong puso't lakas upang maisakatuparan ang layuning iyon.

Bukod sa layunin, isang bumubuhay sa aking kaluluwa ngayon ay ang paniniwalang narito ako upang umibig. Ng ano? Ng lahat -- tao, kalikasan, mga konseptong dalisay gaya ng karapatan, kalayaan, pananampalataya at iba pa.

Isa akong babae. Mahina ngunit matatag.

Isa akong anak at apo. Pumipiglas sa imaheng ako'y bata pa ngunit aminadong kailangan ko sila.

Isa akong kapatid. Mapang-asar ngunit mapag-mahal.

Isa akong kaibigan. Mahirap hanapin kahit laging nandyan.

Isa akong empleyado. Nangangarap yumaman, natatakot sa pag-sikat.

Isa akong mamamayan. May opinyon, kulang sa aksyon.

Isa akong Katoliko. Makasalanan ngunit gustong mapunta sa langit.

Ako, kagaya mo ay bahagi ng abakada.

Araw-araw nagsusumikap magpakatao.

Balewala ang hirap at sakit, mapaligaya lang ang mga minamahal.

Kailangan ng kaibigan, kausap at kalinga. May kwento.

Dakila at may dangal, pagkat tayo'y tao.

Hangad kong maisulat ang akda ng mula sa puso at bukas ang kamulatan. Sa panitikang ito, magkaron nawa ng boses ang payak na kwento ng masa. Hindi lang ito sa akin...abakada mo'to.

* Tranferred from my Friendster blog ABAKADA MO 'To.

Quote MotTo - 006

Who needs a partner when the world is your lover? Happiness is a choice!

Quote MotTo - 005

What used to define me no longer do. I realized even without those I am still me--dauntless and complete, relentless and grounded. Now I see my horizon better..

Quote MotTo - 004

Thankful for all that was and has been. Good things that last are not done in rush. I'm God's project still under-construction.

Quote MotTo - 003

Evil will persist if good people do nothing. Calling all good people to pray for the not so good ones. Spread love. ♥

Quote MotTo - 002

I may be fragile, but I am not weak. My spirit is stronger than the toughest bone you have.

Quote MotTo - 001

Any separation done in good faith leads to maturity. It takes maturity to face uncertainty. I can now say it is what it is... my new beginning starts today.